When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down

I constantly try to turn something I say into my catch phrase.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down

sit in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down +686

try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I keep thinking a thing is about to fall from the table even though it's not close to the edge

thumb_up thumb_down +29

When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Sometimes I have a dream in the morning that I checked my clock but then when I wake up Im perplexed when Ive gone back in time -Ethan

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Saying "ouch!" when someone throws something and it hits an inanimate object.. -Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When ever I touch something a certain way I have to touch it again exactly like I did the first time

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

thumb_up thumb_down -58

eat chicken, lamb anything with bones with a knife and fork while avoiding using your hands because it makes them dirty

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -40

On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

thumb_up thumb_down -62

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.