I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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Go on Omegle video chat and worry that you'll see someone you know

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I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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When its nighttime, you walk around the house with one of your small animals in your arms, like it can protect you from anything

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when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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when dialing a number, i hear the number itself when it is dialed

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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I stick one foot out of my blanket so I'm not hot or cold.

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I feel like my blanket is an indestructible shield against any monsters that might try to get me at night. If any part of you is out of the covers, you're screwed. lol -ML

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.