When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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Count the number of letters in a word or phrase.

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Make funny fish faces and noises in the mirror just because... Oh yeah, and fish totally make noise, right?

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Get worried i'll sleeptalk about the things I'm thinking about and someone will hear, so stop thinking about my deep and personal thoughts i think about before going to bed.

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When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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whenever I lost a tooth my parents would while I slept they would sprinkle caster sugar on the window sill and make footprints in it (tiny footprints)

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Before I go to bed I have to put one of my hands between my knees in order to warm up and get comfy.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.