When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

When leaving a poop smear under the water in the toilet that doesn't get flushed away, I put a few pieces of toilet paper on the water surface to conceal it.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

thumb_up thumb_down -8

when i'm in a really good mood i think everybody is watching and admiring me

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Like a toy until it breaks.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

i pretend to have the ability of telekinesis and move things around my house , garden, playground...

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

sing like a pro in da shower

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I lift my butt when I'm farting

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Having leg bounce up and down for no reason at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I feel bad for not reading the terms of service on a website, because someone had to put a lot of effort into that.

thumb_up thumb_down +124

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I pee in the water of the toilet to make bubbles

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

That microscopic flying things that follows my eyes' motion, especially when i look up in the sky.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

thumb_up thumb_down -55

taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.