When I'm walking on the sidewalk, I try to count and keep a steady rate of how many times I step on each slab of concrete.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

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When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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misread dig bick

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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I freak myself out during class/assembly/family dinners that someone there can read my mind, then just on cue I start thinking about sex and have to change my train of thought before they think I'm strange. Then I go round in a circle (clockwise of course) and scream their names in my head to see if they look so I know who reads minds.

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Open the fridge, nothing there, close fridge, open again just to make sure nothing has magically appeared

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think about all of the things you would do if you were the only person on earth

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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when im in a public toilet and my freinds outside i make loud converstation with them so they cant hear me pee.

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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I have had a dream where my teeth fall out.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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For some reason, I smile whenever I'm telling someone bad news or a sad story. I always try to not smile, but it doesn't work and I feel like a terrible person.

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I like to play with the condensation on the outside of glasses, sometimes drawing in it, or just wiping it all off. I get half-way annoyed when it comes back, until I play with it again.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.