when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

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On a calendar search for the picture on your birthday month

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I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

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When i take off my watch before i go to sleep i smell my wrist.

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Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

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I talk excessively loud in public sometimes so people can hear my opinions. I'm just hoping someone's eavesdropping because I like the fact that they might agree with me and that they get to see a little bit of who I am. I don't even know these people.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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When I walk from one room to the next, I make believe that the room I just left exploded, and that I made it out just in time.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

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hurting your foot and running around trying not to think of the pain!

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.