get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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when no one is home I grab my sisters boobs she has big ones I mean it.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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Go on Omegle video chat and worry that you'll see someone you know

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I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.