Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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I push the door open with my stomach

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If I'm in my room and I need to fart, I walk into someone else's room and fart in there so that my room doesn't stink up.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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try to cut corners in my house and hit the wall

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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almost asleep and your body randomly jerks and scares you

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Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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I type things i really want to say to people and then delete them straight away because im too chicken to say it.

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When you try to blur eyes and keep them like that when you look around the room.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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I check behind the the shower curtin before I use the bathroom at night.

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sit in the shower

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Whatever situation I am in, I always start to invent rhythms with everything i have around, e.g. my legs, voice, tables or sometimes even the ground.

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.