Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.