- Things You Think Only You Do

When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

Does anyone else's mouse hand get colder then their other hand when they're on the computer?

sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

Look at my poo before I flush it.

The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

Poo really loud

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.