When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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Picking my nose.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.