I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.