I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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I chew my ice cream.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.