Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.