Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.