laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Tear up when I poop

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.