I think Frozen is an overrated film

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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I **** with no hands.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Get scared while I'm doing things on the computer like writing these comments, or other weird stuff because I think there might be a hacker watching my screen.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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Mayada stupid

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.