While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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chew on the side of my teeth

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.