I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.