I brush my teeth while im in the shower

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I T-bag my teammates in MW3 when they die.

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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speak proper english

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try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Checking out peoples cars to try and figure out what kind of driver they are.

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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Pee in the shower

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.