Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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sitting in your room at night and making imagineary monters or random figures out of things in your room.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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call someone by a siblings name.

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.