pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

thumb_up thumb_down -47

fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Vote for the other guy

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

thumb_up thumb_down -89

I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

I constantly get itches. On awkward parts of my body. In public places. And it's torture.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I brace myself and close my eyes when I send an email to my teachers or parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.