If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

chew on the side of my teeth

Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

Smelling food to see if its spicy.

Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

I have never watched Star Wars.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.