I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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Make hand gestures when talking on phone

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

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My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.