I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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I peel tiny strings off of cheese sticks because it's more fun and tastes better.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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check shower for murder then pee

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I refuse to forward chain letters

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Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

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Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.