Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Pee in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I don't care about gender stereotypes. Moral: If I want to like Pink unicorns I will like them!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

thumb_up thumb_down -29

THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.