Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Spell Checktells me I spelt something wrong even though I am certain it's right.

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Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

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When I drop something, I stand there and watch it fall, I stand still because I'm afraid that I'll maybe mess up something else, instead of picking it up quickly. Am I the only one? ;)

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Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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i see almost everything as a sign

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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If some makes you mad you do things alot better than you would if you were not mad

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.