Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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whenever I lucid dream, I find that I don't do much

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Sometimes I have a dream in the morning that I checked my clock but then when I wake up Im perplexed when Ive gone back in time -Ethan

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

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When looking at these comments, don't like the ones with lots of comments on because you think they have too many and the others deserve your liking as they might feel left out.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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k. everyone

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I'm really picky about how I earn money

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Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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I only used to eat McCoys Salt & Vinegar crisps when it was raining, because I thought they tasted better when it rains. Anyone else?

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chew on the side of my teeth

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.