I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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I can't trill my R's

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When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades

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I eat ass

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.