I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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I brush my teeth while im in the shower

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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Poop naked.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.