Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

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When pooping I always fold my TP before. Anyone else do that? I also always have 4 squares each XD Email me if you do it :P mr.michaelgiorgio@gmail.com

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go though and like the posts with only one like so the person who wrote it doesn't feel alone.

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

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I only used to eat McCoys Salt & Vinegar crisps when it was raining, because I thought they tasted better when it rains. Anyone else?

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

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draw pictures on the mirror from the shower steam

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Laughing at a joke that you dont think is funny but everybody else does

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Spending the night at someone's house and waking up and thinking your at your house then realizing your not

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I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

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After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

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I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!

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read some posts and then sit with friends and try to come up with some good things for this website

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When reading something you have different voices for the characters/people.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.