Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

When I'm walking on the sidewalk, I try to count and keep a steady rate of how many times I step on each slab of concrete.

when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

When watching the news and see all those children and other innocent people die at wars, in my mind I shout at God and ask him why he doesn't give me the sign and my powers to save the world. J.C.

Thinking of something but got distracted for a few seconds. After that, I forgot what was I thinking about.

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Play Minecraft

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

when someone asks you to not listen to they conversation and your listening to music at the same time, in the same room and when they have that conversation, you pretend to listen to your music.

Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

Everytime i take of my sweater i start singing "its getting hot in here"

I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

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Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.