After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Giving my dog a massage.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Sit on the loo and think about life because I can't be bothered to get up

thumb_up thumb_down -42

getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

thumb_up thumb_down -50

When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Hearing someone singing a song and stopping midway, so you need to finish it.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

thumb_up thumb_down -102

ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

thumb_up thumb_down -110

Sometimes, when I like something on a certain website and see that someone else on my facebook friend's list likes it as well, I think that they're stalking me.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

go though and like the posts with only one like so the person who wrote it doesn't feel alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I randomly highlight stuff when I'm reading something, only to click outside of the text so I can actually read it.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

thumb_up thumb_down -45

When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

When I'm walking on the sidewalk, I try to count and keep a steady rate of how many times I step on each slab of concrete.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Take baths

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.