When i'm home alone with the dog i have a conversation with the dog, sometimes in my head & sometimes out loud, in the voice that i think the dog would have if it could speak. Then sometimes i realise that i haven't checked if anybody else is home !

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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Giving my dog a massage.

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Take baths

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When watching the news and see all those children and other innocent people die at wars, in my mind I shout at God and ask him why he doesn't give me the sign and my powers to save the world. J.C.

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arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

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I want to suck on your penis

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Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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Feel like you're the only one pressured into giving gum away by your friends.

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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Try to flip the dice at the casino to my number with my mind

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Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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I have seen a UFO

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

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Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Develop a really weird sleeping pattern in the summer, for example going to bed a 5 A.M. and waking in the early afternoon.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.