Putting your bra on your dogs dead

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when someone asks you to not listen to they conversation and your listening to music at the same time, in the same room and when they have that conversation, you pretend to listen to your music.

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When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!

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I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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when dialing a number, i hear the number itself when it is dialed

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stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

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Thinking you smell really bad and then putting to much deodorant/perfume/ect and you still think you smell bad. Is this just me?

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Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

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When I am walking at night, I see a slight shadow behind me for a second, I walk faster, I see the shadow again, I think it is some kind of scary monster and then I decide to run for my life. When I get back home, I realize the shadow is my shadow.

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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Am i the only one who noticed that the title of this page has a grammatical error?

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I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

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Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

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Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

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dont wash hands for the recommended 30 seconds

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Check this site often to see if anyone liked my comment or not...

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Can't seem to manage not throwing rocks into sea/river

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Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

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I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.