In britain,everytime i see a magpie i got to do this silly ritual and salute and say good morning mr magpie (depending on wat time of day it is) and make sure 2 ppl see it at the same time or something bad will happen.then someone will tell me another one i should do and i add it on! Its never ending.

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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Your mom

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I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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Sometimes I have a dream in the morning that I checked my clock but then when I wake up Im perplexed when Ive gone back in time -Ethan

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

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Sometimes, when I like something on a certain website and see that someone else on my facebook friend's list likes it as well, I think that they're stalking me.

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Okay, so. I have this weird habit I've had for like a year now, and it's that I always have to touch things an even amount of times and touch them with the other had the same amount of times. I read it's OCD, which I sometimes experience symptoms of, but this one sticks out. Is this normal? What should I do? Should I ask if I do have OCD?

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I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

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feed a gecko worms every day, not the good worms though...

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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Sit on the loo and think about life because I can't be bothered to get up

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getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.