When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

wondering if everyone else in the world can read your mind so you avoid thinking about specific things

Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

Get creeped out at seeing 11:34 at least once per day. The number even turns up everywhere in my life such as my jewelry store.

On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

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Think that everything has feelings for example, a cushion or a tree

popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

I ejaculate fire and glory

When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.