I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

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I walk down the stairs sideways because I'm afraid something will get me.

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When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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Whenever I slurp from a straw I do it a little bit at a time, slowly and steadily so people don't turn at me and give me an annoyed face.

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If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

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I eat ice creams from the bottom of the cone to the top.

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When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

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kick something under the fridge that you dont want to pick up

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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When bored in class.. I catch eyes with someone across the room and look away fast, then act "cool" for the next 10 minutes because I still think they're looking at me...

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.