When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

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Sometimes I stay as still as I can and stare at myself in the mirror until it scares me and I freak out about who I am and why I'm living. I have to think of my family and memories to snap out of it.

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When someone is reading something out loud in class...and they are reading REALLY slow...You quietly read fast and you try to beat them to the end of the paragraph

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Turning on the dryers in the bathroom so no one will hear you peeing

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You keep going through pages of "Things You Think Only You Do" clicking the button until you realize that your on like page 50.

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Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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calling someone and it rings so long you forget who your calling and when they answer you have to look at your caller i.d to remember.

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always want to tell my friends the nightmares I had but they don't sound as horrible as they actually were spoken out loud and then get annoyed if their no tike 'OH my god! And what happened next...?'

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I don't like to sit with my back to the door incase someone or something sneeks up behind me, it's even worse with headphones on.

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On the train, try and mathematically make (add,subtract,multiply,divide etc.) the carriage number to get to ten

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When I'm watching a youtube video, I worry about how much time is left because I'm concerned the video maker won't wrap it up in time before the video ends.

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Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

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After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

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Hate Skydoesminecraft.

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When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

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I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

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When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

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Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.