Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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avoid using ketchup and mayo since they make everything taste like um... ketchup and mayo... which is kind of boring

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When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

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I always poke myself in the eye when I put on mascara, then have a wild hand spasm so it gets all over my face.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Accidentally try to downloade PC software on your mac.

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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when i meet ppl i often think of them as if two other ppl i know had a baby even if they are the same sex.

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When I turn the volume up or Down it has to be a number with 0 or 5 in

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When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

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When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

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I put salt on buttered toast...

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I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

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When at a friend's or another person's house, I pee while standing up. But at home, I always sit down when i pee.

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Reading the terms of service :O....

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I open the shower curtain when I get in the bathroom to make sure no ones there.

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Say a word over and over until it sounds weird

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when you can't think of anything to type you just type random letters. a;lsdfj;ldfkjsfasdfljf

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when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

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pick your nose and eat it

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When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.