RAPE CHILDREN

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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I constantly try to turn something I say into my catch phrase.

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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Say a word over and over until it sounds weird

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Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

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At home stay on the toilet a few minutes after you finish your business

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fap

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Playing TV in bed because if I don't I jump at every noise in the house and don't sleep.

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when i meet ppl i often think of them as if two other ppl i know had a baby even if they are the same sex.

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pick your nose and eat it

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avoid using ketchup and mayo since they make everything taste like um... ketchup and mayo... which is kind of boring

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When i'm eating small, colored foods like skittles or gummies, i have to have one on each side of my mouth so one side doesn't feel happier than the other and they have to be different colors.

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I always poke myself in the eye when I put on mascara, then have a wild hand spasm so it gets all over my face.

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every timee i type a messege to some 1 in chat i imaging what the othe person looks like-jesse

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I carry more money in my wallet than it appears, I just tuck some away because I think that if I can't see it and have to go through the trouble to get it out- then I won't spend it.

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I pretend that I've caught the man in the walk/don't walk sign doing something bad and I stare at him accusingly

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When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

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I open the shower curtain when I get in the bathroom to make sure no ones there.

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when you can't think of anything to type you just type random letters. a;lsdfj;ldfkjsfasdfljf

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Going to a friends house for the weekend, coming home and checking the fridge/pantry for new foods.

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Accidentally try to downloade PC software on your mac.

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Put things in the front of the dishwasher 1st cause im to lazy to pull the whole thing out to put anything in the back or the right place.

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When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.