do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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At home stay on the toilet a few minutes after you finish your business

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After having an argument with your partner you text them later then halfway thru the text you forget hat you were going to say back track and tell them you love them! "didn't matter really did it lol"

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I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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When I hear a sound that I don't know what is, while I'm in an unfamiliar place, I wipe off and then touch as many surfaces as possible. It makes me think that if I'm taken by some scary person, my fingerprints will be easily found. I'm not sure why that would help in many cases, but it makes me feel better.

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When writing out something in the air, you mess up so you "wipe" out the mistake and then move to another piece of air because it's "cleaner".

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Get longingly desperate feeling for days/weeks after a concert of my favorite band.

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ASMR

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Go back to the song if I don't here what they sang Kay

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Sometimes I stay as still as I can and stare at myself in the mirror until it scares me and I freak out about who I am and why I'm living. I have to think of my family and memories to snap out of it.

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When I'm watching a youtube video, I worry about how much time is left because I'm concerned the video maker won't wrap it up in time before the video ends.

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Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

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Have a dream about falling and never stop falling and it feels real

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

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Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

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every timee i type a messege to some 1 in chat i imaging what the othe person looks like-jesse

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Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

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When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

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On the train, try and mathematically make (add,subtract,multiply,divide etc.) the carriage number to get to ten

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I have one of those automatic shower cleaners. After I press the button, it beeps 15 times before starting. I have to get out my brush, get out the hair dryer, plug it in, and Turin it on before the 15th beep. Every time.

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Not doing any work Feel guilty about it Then still do no work

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Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

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When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.