If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.

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"Oh, that was a messed up thought, probably shouldn't think about it again or something worse because---GODDAMN IT."

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Mispronounce a word that you have a billion times before because you couldn't figure out what it said for a second.

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When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

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Whenever I read creepy pastas and there is a picture after the story I get afraid to look at it than when I do I freak out thinking it's going to eat me. Than when I look at it I shout FUUUUUUU.. Than look at it some more and I burst out laughing seeing its a fucking dumb picture.

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See the person you like at school, have a quick random sexual thought about them, le random boner appears, and you flip out in your mind

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Before I go to bed I have to put one of my hands between my knees in order to warm up and get comfy.

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For the long meaningless comments below: I choose to decide to thumb the comments down and see them gone forever! Moral: Thats right, I spend less time on the webs, but here I am.

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Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

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Buying a new song, listening to it on repeat for hours until it gets old, and then never listening to it again.

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I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

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When I pee if there is already some toilet paper there I try to sink it with my pee.

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I am a BIG TIME movie talker. I always ask questions that people obviously don’t know the answer to like, “Where is he going?” “I thought they were friends?” “Wait.. Is she mad?” “Is that guy the killer?” Although people seem to tolerate me, I do promise that it is completely on accident. I don’t even realize I do it. –Ikka.

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Closed the door to the refrigerator super slow, just to watch the light turn off.

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Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I never did certain things like move to a new house or attended a certain school or college. I wonder if I still would have met the people who are in my life now. I think about If I never met my best friends, people who are like family to me. Then I get really sad because it's something I never want to imagine. Afterwards, I talk to them to cheer myself up.

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If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

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when no one is home I grab my sisters boobs she has big ones I mean it.

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Eat goldfish and cheez-its salt side down.

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im going to RAPEEEE that girl

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Take a dump in the dark... Anyone but me?

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Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

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When I'm riding in a car, i squeeze my toes everytime the car passes a dotted line in the road or when theres a curb

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incognito mode on google chrome

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When I wear a backpack I constantly check to make sure all the pockets are zipped

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.