Thinking about what you want to dream about while brushing your teeth at night.

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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Forgets something then walks into the room to get it then forgets what you forgot nikki

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When taking trash up to the street, I always runback as fast as I can, counting down from 5, pretending there's a sniper about to shoot me.

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mindlessly touch my laptop or desktop PC's screen after having just used a tablet.

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When I wear a backpack I constantly check to make sure all the pockets are zipped

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Somehow can't find anything good to eat after going grocery shopping... even if you buy Oreos

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misread flashlight

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If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.

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thumb down this post

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even though you know you turned the light off, you have to go check before you can get to sleep

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Pee in a glass and pour it down the sink, if someone is using the bathroom already.

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Eat goldfish and cheez-its salt side down.

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RAPE CHILDREN

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Suppress a sneeze and then walk around unsatisfied.

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I'm in a hurry I press the elevator button several times

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When the car runs over bumps in the road on the freeway, they sound like horses hooves, so I pretend my car's being pulled by invisible horses.

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Get my belt loop caught on the door handle,

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Put things in the front of the dishwasher 1st cause im to lazy to pull the whole thing out to put anything in the back or the right place.

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Being from another country and always thinking in english.

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Think about things I should be doing with my life.

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after doing the dishes i get my hands wet after putting my jumper on cause i failed 2 dry my hands propley my arms a f***** cold dammit!!

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Make funny fish faces and noises in the mirror just because... Oh yeah, and fish totally make noise, right?

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.