Date your English paper so it looks like you did it earlier (rather than saving it for the last minute).

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from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

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In the car and sad song comes on you look out the window and pretend your in a movie.

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lie on the couch with my head upside-down and imagine what it'd be like to walk around on the ceiling, and if you were to flip the house over so the floor's the ceiling, what you'd have to nail down to keep in place.

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When I wear a backpack I constantly check to make sure all the pockets are zipped

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Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

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Sometimes...when no one is home, i talk and dance with my dog as if he was person :)

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when no one is home I grab my sisters boobs she has big ones I mean it.

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thumb down this post

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when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.

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If there's a mirror i look if there's people around looking at me, and if there aren't it's ok to stare at my reflection.

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For the long meaningless comments below: I choose to decide to thumb the comments down and see them gone forever! Moral: Thats right, I spend less time on the webs, but here I am.

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Eat goldfish and cheez-its salt side down.

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close left eye, then right eye to see how things move....

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When the car runs over bumps in the road on the freeway, they sound like horses hooves, so I pretend my car's being pulled by invisible horses.

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invent arguments in my head with people to hone my debate skills for future arguments.

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Pretending I'm in a phone call when I don't want someone to talk to me.

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While lying in the tub the water gets cold so u turn back on the hot water with ur feet bc u are too lazy to get up and turn it on with your hands

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Take a dump in the dark... Anyone but me?

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I'm in my twenties and still don't drive.

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Whenever I'm home alone, I listen to songs from my culture like Ella Ella, Taboo, or Sexy Robotica by Don Omar or other fun dancing songs, super loud and dance crazy and sing along as loud as I can. Any one else?

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Shit in the shower and pushing it down the drain with your feet

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Tried to stuff yourself in the fridge

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.