when i realise for example that my shoes are stinking i get really paranoid and try to cover them under the table or something because i feel that everyone is thinking about it or is covering their nose or stuff

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Realising that there are ASSHOLES posting dumb shit on this site.

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Kick the fallen ice cube underneath the fridge

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Tried to suck ur own penis

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Wishing you could go back in time and do a situation over again, becuase you regret the stuff you did.

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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When one of those sad sappy abused dogs commercials comes on, you change the channel really fast to prevent from crying.

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When I see someone I know walking toward me as I'm walking toward them from a long way away, I pretend I don't see them until we're right on top of each other, then, miraculously discovering them, I smile and say, "Hi".

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Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

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I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

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Put my hand under the pillow in bed to get orgasm

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Get freaked out when door bell or phone rings when you are doing something you are not supposed to.

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Squeezing my cat's face back so it looks Chinese.

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Go through funny pictures and memes on Facebook, and then accidently miss one and ten when you click to go back you have to go through like 5 more to get back to the one you want.

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

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Get random feelings of nausea and/or dizziness for no apparent reason.

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When I loose something , I buy a new one, then continue to find the old one the next day.

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Stick ur thumb between ur first and middle finger without realizing it

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Reading a book and making the facial expressions it describes.

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play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

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On an one night if I come too fast .je persuade the girl that I have to forget my cellular in my automobile and I get out

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when someone says something like 'it's too late' i always start singing 'to apologizeeeeee' even though i think people are annoyed of me always singing along to their sentences and changing the meaning, but i just cannot stop it

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Pick giant boogers and eat them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.