Have a dream with horribly unfortunate events (like having an amputation or being in prison) waking up from said dream and saying something like, "Good thing that was a dream, don't know what I'd do if that was real"

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close the fridge door really slowly just so you can see the light turn off

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When I look at a digital clock, i try to rearrange the number to make them a math equation

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I delete all notifications on my phone before i shut it off.

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Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

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I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

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Pick my nose with my elbow, that way I keep my nails clean.

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Whenever I'm home alone, I dance and sing along to any commercial.

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If I'm home alone, I tell myself good night when I am getting cozy in bed. I even use my name.

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Peeing in the shower

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mentally scolding yourself for thinking something dirty just in case the person you're thinking about can read your thoughts

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hurting your foot and running around trying not to think of the pain!

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I never look out the window at night because I'm afraid there will be an Alien staring at me when I move the curtains.

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When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

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When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

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I wonder if we're actually just dolls and are being controlled by some little girl in her little doll house ....

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When standing on the beach, I try to command the waves to stop.

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Math tests-doing all the work for a problem only to find out my answer is not any of the multiple choices.

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Hate when you finish a cup of pudding or something like that and you don’t want to get up to put the spoon in the sink so you just leave it sitting in the cup but the spoon is too tall for the cup and it falls over.

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Someone asks you "what's up" and you awkwardly reply "good".

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I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

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Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

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Wondering where are famous people and what they are doing at this exact moment.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.