Peeing in the shower

Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

Have a dream with horribly unfortunate events (like having an amputation or being in prison) waking up from said dream and saying something like, "Good thing that was a dream, don't know what I'd do if that was real"

When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

Say 'WED', 'NES' and 'DAY' slowly in your head when spelling Wednesday.

whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

I wonder if we're actually just dolls and are being controlled by some little girl in her little doll house ....

whale sperm

Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

Pretend that i don't care about my birthday when i actually can't wait to see what present people will get me and get terribly excited everytime someone text me

Sometimes I beat box when I am alone.

I stay vigilant while i shower in case killer/zombies come into my house..

When I'm walking at night, I put up my hood and grin evilly at passing cars so it'll scare the drivers if they see

hurting your foot and running around trying not to think of the pain!

When standing on the beach, I try to command the waves to stop.

Math tests-doing all the work for a problem only to find out my answer is not any of the multiple choices.

I never look out the window at night because I'm afraid there will be an Alien staring at me when I move the curtains.

watch raindrops race down a window and see which one wins

On a calendar search for the picture on your birthday month

Pull the curtain right to the end so there are no gaps just in case some weirdo at night decides to look in my window.

My most intimate moments are constantly interrupted by the same thought..."oh, God...what if there is a secret security cam in here...CUT TO: oh God...can my dead grandparents see me now????"

When I have a really good dream, and I wake up and realize it was a dream, I try to fall back asleep and re-visit the dream.

Hate when you finish a cup of pudding or something like that and you don’t want to get up to put the spoon in the sink so you just leave it sitting in the cup but the spoon is too tall for the cup and it falls over.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.