When I'm about to go to the bathroom, I think of a million things that I have to do and try to do them all before I pee my pants.

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suck my own penis

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I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

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I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

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If there's leaves on the ground and the wind picks it up and makes like swirls I put my arms out to make it seem I'm controlling the swirls.

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I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

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Every time I see my self in a mirror, I feel like I'm watching someone in a different dimension and make quick movements to see if they mess up.

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i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

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When I'm in a car holding a handheld device (iPod, Cell Phone, etc.) I have a feeling I will randomly throw it out the open window. I would never do this, but I'm still afraid I might.

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Every time i take a drink from a cup, i rotate the cup so i never drink from the same place.

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I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

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I like to say really offensive and/and racist words when I'm on my own and no one can hear me. It just feels good to say things that I'm not allowed to.

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Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

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Rapidly click the mouse when your computer is frozen, even though you know it won't do anything to help whatsoever.

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When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

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Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

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Sometimes I imagine how everyone would react if I died.

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Sit down in a grass field... immediately start pulling up grass.

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I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

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When using the bathroom count the tiles on the floor or shower wall or read a shampoo bottle.

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I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

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I fake laugh at peoples jokes when they're not funny to avoid akward moments.

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In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.