suck my own penis

I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

When I'm about to go to the bathroom, I think of a million things that I have to do and try to do them all before I pee my pants.

If there's leaves on the ground and the wind picks it up and makes like swirls I put my arms out to make it seem I'm controlling the swirls.

I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

When I'm in a car holding a handheld device (iPod, Cell Phone, etc.) I have a feeling I will randomly throw it out the open window. I would never do this, but I'm still afraid I might.

Every time i take a drink from a cup, i rotate the cup so i never drink from the same place.

Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

Every time I see my self in a mirror, I feel like I'm watching someone in a different dimension and make quick movements to see if they mess up.

Rapidly click the mouse when your computer is frozen, even though you know it won't do anything to help whatsoever.

When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

mentally scolding yourself for thinking something dirty just in case the person you're thinking about can read your thoughts

Sometimes I imagine how everyone would react if I died.

Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

Wonder why there are sites like this.

When using the bathroom count the tiles on the floor or shower wall or read a shampoo bottle.

Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

Math tests-doing all the work for a problem only to find out my answer is not any of the multiple choices.

In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

Sit down in a grass field... immediately start pulling up grass.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.