Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

Open the fridge every 15 minutes, to see if there is anything new to eat.

Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

Find something you dislike about your face/body and instantly compare it with every person you meet from then on

I fake laugh at peoples jokes when they're not funny to avoid akward moments.

I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

I like to say really offensive and/and racist words when I'm on my own and no one can hear me. It just feels good to say things that I'm not allowed to.

Have a dream with horribly unfortunate events (like having an amputation or being in prison) waking up from said dream and saying something like, "Good thing that was a dream, don't know what I'd do if that was real"

Think about the things you could do if you had the power to stop the time.

When i take off my watch before i go to sleep i smell my wrist.

make food scream if i chop them up.

You remember something funny. You smile like an idiot. Everyone around thinks your weird for randomly smiling.

when i watch tv and it cuts to break, if i hear someone on the tv tell me not to change the chanel, ill say "u cant tell me what to do!" and then ill change it.

I actually get stuck watching those rediculous infomercials late at night... Yeah - you're not alone. But no, I don't buy anything either... Lol.

Sometimes I beat box when I am alone.

Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

close the fridge door really slowly just so you can see the light turn off

When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

My most intimate moments are constantly interrupted by the same thought..."oh, God...what if there is a secret security cam in here...CUT TO: oh God...can my dead grandparents see me now????"

I never read the Terms of Service. I just click "OK"

When standing on the beach, I try to command the waves to stop.

Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

ask my dog questions then realize, she can't talk...

whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.