Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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Open the fridge every 15 minutes, to see if there is anything new to eat.

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Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

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Find something you dislike about your face/body and instantly compare it with every person you meet from then on

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I fake laugh at peoples jokes when they're not funny to avoid akward moments.

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I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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I like to say really offensive and/and racist words when I'm on my own and no one can hear me. It just feels good to say things that I'm not allowed to.

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Have a dream with horribly unfortunate events (like having an amputation or being in prison) waking up from said dream and saying something like, "Good thing that was a dream, don't know what I'd do if that was real"

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Think about the things you could do if you had the power to stop the time.

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When i take off my watch before i go to sleep i smell my wrist.

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make food scream if i chop them up.

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You remember something funny. You smile like an idiot. Everyone around thinks your weird for randomly smiling.

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when i watch tv and it cuts to break, if i hear someone on the tv tell me not to change the chanel, ill say "u cant tell me what to do!" and then ill change it.

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I actually get stuck watching those rediculous infomercials late at night... Yeah - you're not alone. But no, I don't buy anything either... Lol.

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Sometimes I beat box when I am alone.

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Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

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close the fridge door really slowly just so you can see the light turn off

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When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

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My most intimate moments are constantly interrupted by the same thought..."oh, God...what if there is a secret security cam in here...CUT TO: oh God...can my dead grandparents see me now????"

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I never read the Terms of Service. I just click "OK"

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When standing on the beach, I try to command the waves to stop.

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Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

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ask my dog questions then realize, she can't talk...

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whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.