must have the tv volume set to an even number or feel weird

My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

I will look up the definition of a word in a text message before I use it just incase I'm using it in the wrong context.

Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

Pretend I'm much more popular than I am with people who don't know my social life.

When I see myself in the mirror, I have to make a funny face just to make sure my face still works.

I dip my pizza crust in soda

Fill up a glass, drink half, then fill it up again.

when i have to go down stairs at night, i have to sprint up the stairs in case there are ghosts/monsters never dangle my feet over the bed in case something tickles/touches them

Stalk people on facebook, find out something interesting, and later claim that it 'came up on your newsfeed'.

use the shower water running of my arms and hands to shoot off random hairs inside the shower

Open the fridge, nothing there, close fridge, open again just to make sure nothing has magically appeared

I like to play with the condensation on the outside of glasses, sometimes drawing in it, or just wiping it all off. I get half-way annoyed when it comes back, until I play with it again.

Sometimes I think the whole world is set up, and I feel like I'm living in some kind of Truman Show. I even sometimes say "I know you're there" to the moon.

I never turn in a complete circle. If I did, I would have to turn around in the other direction to "erase" the first circle

I look at people and think, "they poop" then as I'm imagining them pooping I hurry and change thoughts before they finish.

i smoke weed all day.

I try to fill the surface of the toilet water with bubbles when I pee.

Know all the lyrics to a song but then realize you never actually "listened" to the song to see what it's about

Scan forward to best parts of songs, rarely listen to entire song.

For some reason, I smile whenever I'm telling someone bad news or a sad story. I always try to not smile, but it doesn't work and I feel like a terrible person.

I get creeped out if I haven't looked at a clock in a while and when I finally do it reads 9:11

I buy books and never read them and get mad at myself for doing so.

Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.