- Things You Think Only You Do

must have the tv volume set to an even number or feel weird

My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

I dip my pizza crust in soda

Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

Fill up a glass, drink half, then fill it up again.

Pretend I'm much more popular than I am with people who don't know my social life.

I will look up the definition of a word in a text message before I use it just incase I'm using it in the wrong context.

use the shower water running of my arms and hands to shoot off random hairs inside the shower

When I see myself in the mirror, I have to make a funny face just to make sure my face still works.

when i have to go down stairs at night, i have to sprint up the stairs in case there are ghosts/monsters never dangle my feet over the bed in case something tickles/touches them

Stalk people on facebook, find out something interesting, and later claim that it 'came up on your newsfeed'.

Open the fridge, nothing there, close fridge, open again just to make sure nothing has magically appeared

I like to play with the condensation on the outside of glasses, sometimes drawing in it, or just wiping it all off. I get half-way annoyed when it comes back, until I play with it again.

Sometimes I think the whole world is set up, and I feel like I'm living in some kind of Truman Show. I even sometimes say "I know you're there" to the moon.

I look at people and think, "they poop" then as I'm imagining them pooping I hurry and change thoughts before they finish.

I never turn in a complete circle. If I did, I would have to turn around in the other direction to "erase" the first circle

Scan forward to best parts of songs, rarely listen to entire song.

Know all the lyrics to a song but then realize you never actually "listened" to the song to see what it's about

I try to fill the surface of the toilet water with bubbles when I pee.

When no one is home or if no one is looking you go in the fridge and drink right out of the bottle.

Sometimes when I look at something up close, I alternate closing each eye and looking at the object from the other eye, then switch again. I do it really fast to make it look like that thing is moving. It's really entertaining.

I freak myself out during class/assembly/family dinners that someone there can read my mind, then just on cue I start thinking about sex and have to change my train of thought before they think I'm strange. Then I go round in a circle (clockwise of course) and scream their names in my head to see if they look so I know who reads minds.

Before I go to bed at night, I close the closet door so the monsters inside don't come get me while I'm sleeping.

Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.