think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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hug the pillow at night so it protects me from monsters

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Have a dream with horribly unfortunate events (like having an amputation or being in prison) waking up from said dream and saying something like, "Good thing that was a dream, don't know what I'd do if that was real"

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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You pause while walking around your house when you're home alone because you think you heard a noise, but then realize it was just you walking.

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When I'm eating cereal, if some of the cereal gets stuck on the inside of the bowl above the rest I use the side of my spoon to push it down back into the milk.

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When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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when i watch tv and it cuts to break, if i hear someone on the tv tell me not to change the chanel, ill say "u cant tell me what to do!" and then ill change it.

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Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

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When I was a little kid and something scared me (i.e. feel like being watched when I walked through the forest in the dark) I began to sing... and then I felt somehow protected. Weird, isn`t it?

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When I'm driving through traffic lights that are green, I use my psychic powers to make them change so no one behind me gets through.

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Type in 'things you thought only you did' and find this site. Then smile stupidly and click thumbs up everytime you read something you thought only you did.

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Not clicking the Facebook 'like' button on "pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud", because it will show up on your profile, and you think other people will think you're strange.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.