I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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One time I went to my old primary school and while I was there I needed the toilet. So I go use the schools and was shocked at how small everything was I guess because I haven't been there in a while

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Whatever situation I am in, I always start to invent rhythms with everything i have around, e.g. my legs, voice, tables or sometimes even the ground.

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At the gym, I always try to do 5 pounds more than the previous person.

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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I constantly get itches. On awkward parts of my body. In public places. And it's torture.

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Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

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Start thinking about how your walking, and then worry that you may lose control of your legs and fall.

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bounce when your tip toeing.

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Whenever I slurp from a straw I do it a little bit at a time, slowly and steadily so people don't turn at me and give me an annoyed face.

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when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

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i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.