I ejaculate fire and glory

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I sometimes want to eat spaghetti with my hands, but for whatever reason have never done it...

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Sleep with one leg on top of the covers and the rest of your body under them.

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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I always leave a little coffee in the pot so that it becomes someone elses problem

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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If I have a black surface I scratch my dandruff onto and make a dandruff galaxy.

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I never read the Terms of Service. I just click "OK"

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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I pick my nose n eat it. I love the hard ones

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Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.