I ejaculate fire and glory

I sometimes want to eat spaghetti with my hands, but for whatever reason have never done it...

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

Sleep with one leg on top of the covers and the rest of your body under them.

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

I always leave a little coffee in the pot so that it becomes someone elses problem

smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

If I have a black surface I scratch my dandruff onto and make a dandruff galaxy.

I never read the Terms of Service. I just click "OK"

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

I wonder if elections are rigged?

I pick my nose n eat it. I love the hard ones

Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.