it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

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Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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when u were younger and closed the fridge door super slowly 2 c when the light turned off

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

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Kick the fallen ice cube underneath the fridge

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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Think about when im old and im dying and under what circumstances,and think will i remember this day when i thought of it and think,shit that was fast,almost like sending myself a message to the future...if that makes any sense lol

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get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.