When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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when im losing an argument, ill start singing my responses

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Smell your hands to see if there dirty.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Not answer a question or something of the sort Evan if you know you know the answer because you are paranoid that you are wrong.

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every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

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eat chicken, lamb anything with bones with a knife and fork while avoiding using your hands because it makes them dirty

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When a room is dark and the light is really far away, I close my eyes to feel my way to the lamp.

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Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.